Update

Hello, hello my lovelies. I know it has been a while, but real life can be very distracting. When I last left you I had met a few potentials and I have made some progress with them over the last few weeks. I have been mostly focused on D, since he is by far the most Dominant and interesting of the bunch. Unfortunately, I’ve also had an odd development with a friend of mine, let’s call him M. M and I have been spending a lot of time together over the last few weeks and while I thought it was just an emerging friendship, he seems to think we are beginning a relationship. A few days ago he decided to have ‘the talk’ with me about where things are going with us. Color me shocked! What the hell am I supposed to do with this? He is not my type on any level – besides not being a Dom he is a virgin! Seriously, that is like wanting to learn to swim by jumping into the middle of the Pacific.

Sigh.

Well, I hate to say this, but I did not flat out refuse him. Maybe I’m a bad person (Ok, I am a bad person ;) but M is nice, single and dependable. All good qualities in a possible mate, even if he doesn’t mesh with me sexually. You see, as interested as I am in D, there are a few issues. First of all, he lost contact with me for over a week and while he had a good reason, I don’t exactly trust him. You see I am not a trusting person by any stretch of the imagination and even less so when considering someone as a potential. D has been great to talk to, but I won’t know where things are going with him until we actually meet and I can get a feel for the physical chemistry between us. Beyond that, considering the circumstances under which we met there is no way I can even trust that he isn’t married with four kids or an unemployed player living at home with his mom. Until I know the full score I can’t count on anything happening with D and so I (This sounds awful) want to keep my options open with M and S, just in case.

Speaking of S, I’ve been trading some e-mails with him and it looks like we will be getting together to hang out pretty soon. Same problem with S as M though (And yes, I used those letters in that order for the ironic value >:) since S does not strike me as particularly Dominant, either. I suppose what it’s all coming down to is the meeting with D. If he turns out to be everything he appears to be, then I will let M down gently and shift S into friend mode. God, I hope things work out with D. I really can’t imagine dating either of the other potentials and I miss being a sub so much. D seems to match with me so well on every level and I will be truly disappointed if he turns out to be a liar or just not interested in me. I suppose that is all for now, but I will do my best to keep you updated. Ta-ta for now, my lovelies.